Nothing

my aunt called. In fact few of them sent their love. care and concern of my well being through the phone. How is it that i am able to avoid each and everyone of them just because of my fear of facing them. As much as i hate to hear the i told you so. I cannot burden them with my problems. cannot bring myself to share with them. Isn't it deeply instill in us to only report the good and happy but not sad and sufferings to our beloved ones? if it was in my powers i would wipe off all memories of me in them to avoid their sadness. How nice it would be if there never knew I existed. I do not wish to bring any sadness to them or have them go through the loss of beloved ones, the guilt and also blaming themselves for not noticing. Is this my pride, perhaps. Too proud to admit failure, too proud to say i was wrong, wanting to believe a silver lining in all these. But days still stays dark and gloomy. I am not sure for how long i am able to put up this brave happy optimistic front. Please just let me hold it all together. Please don't let me be shattered into pieces. Please....